For the love (Liv?) of God, lock up your husbands and boyfriends—Liv Tyler is at it again! While attending the Dior fashion show at Paris' Rodin Museum during Haute Couture week, we spotted the single starlet trying to horn in on Janet Jackson's man, Jermaine Dupri. And you just know Miss Jackson can get nasty.

Oh, we're pulling your leg. Rumor has it Liv might be ready to hop back on the spacehog that is Royston Langdon again, following their recent separation. To quote Janet herself, that's the way love goes.

But quite frankly, we like Liv single. The thought of her sauntering around Paris and picking up on every available (and unavailable) male celeb in sight...? Zut alors! C'est tres fantastique!











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Um, Dax, your lady is getting a little stir crazy without you!

We saw Kristen Bell on the set of When in Rome recently in the Italian city that shares the movie's namesake. She was apparently shooting a wedding scene and looked ultra lovely in her costume (don't get any ideas, Dax! Down boy! We know how you are. )

In between shooting scenes, Bell relaxed with, get this, A CIGAR!?

What are you doin', girl? Crazy kid.











Photography by ELIOT PRESS

If you're a 30-year-old single dad and it's your weekend to sit the kids, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

You leave 'em with the nanny, of course, and jet over to Miami to party until the sun rises.

Kevin Federline breaks into a sleazy grin as he arrives at LAX International Airport in Los Angeles on Sunday following a weekend in Miami, Florida, where he reportedly partied until dawn and stayed at the hotel 'Mansion.'

What better way to get away from the kids, the very kids you're demanding sole custody of. Kevin, get your head out of your a** and admit it—you're just as neglectful and prone to weirdness as is Britney.

The court should actually consider awarding custody of little Jayden James and Sean Preston to Oprah. She could send the Spears brats to one of her African schools. That would take the celebrity African adoption trend to a whole new level.

 









EXCLUSIVE photography by MO

Seems Naomi Campbell isn't one to be outdone by fellow Brit Ian McKellen when it comes to summer lovin' in Saint-Tropez! Here's the menacing fashion diva enjoying a kiss with her beau, Marcus Elias.

That's probably better than her clobbering him over the head with a cell phone. Or an anchor. Or her stilettos. Or her rap sheet. (Yee-owch! That last one would probably hit the hardest!)

But, really, we like Naomi. She's like one of those wild lionesses you see in captivity at the zoo—sure, if you get too close, she'll tear your arm off. But if you occasionally throw her a live rat she just sort of slumps over and passes out.











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi arrive at Moro Restaurant with a cameraman in tow while visiting Rome, Italy.

The couple has reportedly chosen a date for their "dream wedding" which is set to take place in Palm Springs later this year, as same-sex marriage has become legal in California.

"I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous that we don't all have the same rights," DeGeneres said recently.

A little pre-honeymoon, Europe action, ladies? You GO girls!











Photography by VENTURINI

Not one to be the victim of a Hollywood double-standard, Sir Ian McKellen appears to be saying, "Blimey! If George Clooney can date pretty, waif-thin damsels, then Gandalf's gonna cast his spell on the young'uns , too!"

McKellen spent the day frolicking in the blue waters of the Mediterranean off Saint-Tropez with his tall, dark and handsome young companion, though it doesn't exactly look like he was saying "cheese" when he noticed the camera off in the distance.

Maybe he shoulda used his Magneto powers to zap the device from the shutterbug's hand!











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Italian businessman Flavio Briatore is in his late fifties. And yes, he has a proven penchant for supermodels, having dated Naomi Campbell and having also fathered Heidi Klum's first child.

What is the appeal, you ask? Hell if we know—these ladies are making their own money. So why do they need a sugar daddy!? Totally effing perplexing!!!

His latest hottie: Wonderbra model (no joke!) Elisabetta Gregoraci-Briatore who is said to be in her late twenties.

The couple continued their honeymoon bliss on Monday during a vacation off of the isle of Tavolara in Sardinia.

Good for Flavio, we say. He now has someone to change his Depends, you know, for when the time comes. And Elisabetta, if you don't think that's what you have signed up for, you are in for a rude awakening.

Flip through these shots at your own risk. Barf bag recommended.











Photography by OLYCOM

Wow. They're pretty progressive over there in Paris. Apparently at the Dior Homme fashion show, they'll let any middle-aged trannie hooker with a bad wig off the streets slink on in.

Oops. We're being told that's actually Janet Jackson. So like we said...

Other celebs in attendance were everyone's favorite 3,245-year-old vampyress, Karl Lagerfeld, plus Claudia Schiffer, Kanye West, Eva Mendes and sad 'n single Liv Tyler.





















PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Apparently the Jonas Brothers ignored our style note about their metrosexual tendencies, stepping it up a notch with heeled shoes and Pee-Wee Herman-esque garb, bow tie and all.

We saw the much-too-trendy trio (Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas and Nick Jonas) shamelessly promoting their upcoming album "A Little Bit Longer" with a performance at music store HMV in London.

OMG, their stylist even put pink lipstick on them this time!

Afterward, a flock of sexually confused British boys mobbed the Disney-approved bros, grabbing at their skinny jeans and twirling their curly locks through their fingers.

The Jonas' left the scene slightly perplexed by their pleasurable response to the whole episode.

Okay, okay! We made up that last part. Jokes, people. Jokes! (And, for the record, Queer Eye guy Carson Kressley is not their stylist, either.)

 

Brendan Fraser strutted his seemingly brand new hair plugs around the Journey To The Center Of The Earth premiere in Westwood, CA, yesterday. It's all a bit confusing, though: does he look more like a My Buddy doll now, or Chucky?

Too bad no one told Brendan that guys who carry around giant telephoto lenses and make tough-guy kissy faces usually have a lot to compensate for.

Fraser was joined by his co-star Anita Briem, Dominique Swain and other people who'd probably show up to the opening of a new Chili's in Fresno.

But let's be honest—this flick looks more like Journey Of The Straight To DVD if you ask us. The original? A classic, no doubt. Slapping George Of The Jungle and a multitude of bad CGI effects in the remake? Suddenly Hellboy II ain't looking so bad.






























PHOTOGRAPHY by AXELLE

No, don't look at me! I didn't bathe in my usual tub of Evian today. I'm not camera ready. Just, just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Jennifer Aniston tried and failed to elude our watchful gaze as she arrived in Los Angeles on Sunday following her romp to London with her beau John Mayer.

We know what you did this summer, Jen. You can't fool us!











Photography by MO

Happy Monday Blog Jammers! There's a lot to catch you up on so let's get right down to biznass...

Bauer-Griffin Online witnesses the unraveling of Guy Ritchie and Madonna's marriage first hand! Consider yourself warned—it's not a pretty sight.

Pacific Coast News tells us why it's too complicated for Justin Timberlake.

INF Daily sees that Ryan Phillipe and his lady Abbie Cornish are making it public.

Splash News Online catches Amy Winehouse connecting with her fans.

A Socialite's Life has David Beckham consoling his balls. Ha!

Just Jared brings us an absolute abomination: Heidi Montag comparing herself to Jesus. WTF!?

What Would Tyler Durden Do solemnly (for him) bears the sad news of a successful young model who fell nine stories to her death.

The Gossip Girls wonder if Britney Spears is going to give us more at this year's MTV VMAs.

Pop Sugar pays homage to Hollywood's new class of rising stars via Vanity Fair.

Pink is the new Blog observes Prince Harry looking hot in his soldier gear. Hey, what's so bad about war after all?

Celebrity Baby Blog brings us a very pregnant Gwen Stefani with her already-born son Kingston.

Okay, We figured bargain-dress-wearing Jennifer Aniston must be somewhat flexible. She is dating notorious ladyhound John Mayer after all. But even this position has the randiest of us here a bit perplexed!

Jen spent the weekend with her wimp-rock beau in England, to support his performance at the Glastonbury festival. After dinner at London's La Famiglia restaurant, it seems they hopped in a car and a completely crocked-looking Mayer decided to...well, basically take Jennifer's head and twist it off.

Hey, when in London, ya know?

In fact, that's not even her, is it? That's one of those dummies people put in the passenger seat of their car so they can scam a trip in the carpool lane! Wonder if it vibrates and starts humming "Waiting On The World To Change" when you stick a quarter in it?











EXCLUSIVE photography by ISO

Oh ma gawd, Becky, look at her butt!

Um, yeah... to be honest, I don't even really know who these people are. But it's freaking AWESOME that they're as amorous as two dogs in heat at a Vegas resort pool.

I have ascertained the horn-dogs in question are Australian and Liverpool FC soccer ace Harry Kewell and his spankin' new bride Sherree Murphy, who incidentally played in the English soap Emmerdale Farm as barmaid 'Tricia Dingle'. Big surprise.

Hey you two, I would tell you to get a room, but it appears you already have one...

Go to your gaudy Vegas room!





























EXCLUSIVE photography by JASON M/BM

OMFG could it REALLY be true!? Is the end of the 'Mr. Madonna' era upon us??

We spotted a relaxed and smiling Guy Ritchie—MINUS HIS WEDDING RING!!!—preparing to depart from London's Heathrow Airport today.

Ritchie is believed to be traveling to America to hold crisis talks with Madonna about their marriage (she has also been spotted sans ring!).

For the love of Kabbala, Prada and Pilates, say it isn't so!!!

After spying a closeup shot, we're actually wondering if Madonna is breaking up with Guy over his icky hands. Look at those clammy paws! Ew.

And just where is Miss Diana Ross flying off to from LAX? Wherever the hell Her Rossness wants to fly, that's where!

The Supremes legend had a minor "Oh, hell no!" throwdown when one of her bags ended up misplaced at the Los Angeles airport. Of course, by minor we mean that the tectonic plates only shifted 15 feet when she shrieked.

Oh, Diana, give the poor airline workers a break—how were they supposed to know the stun gun you use to tame that weave was in there?











EXCLUSIVE photography by MO

Giving her typical deer-caught-in-headlights look, Lauren 'Lo' Bosworth is accompanied into Goa nightclub on Thursday in Los Angeles by a crew member from her reality show The Hills.

Yeah, we know—Lo is on the hit MTV show's B team. But we love her anyway, right?

Do any of you think that longtime childhood friend, cast mate and roommate Lauren Conrad treats Lo like a dirty secret? It's as if Lo is the stay-at-home wife who Lauren hangs out with only when she needs a pick-me-up. Otherwise Lauren is off to her daytime gig of "designing" (camon', you know she's just sporadically showing up at meetings and stamping her approval on someone else's vision), granting interviews with the press, and engaging in publicity stunts with The Hills' A-Team A/K/A Whitney, Audrina and Brody.

Lo, it seems like things were better for you when you were a Laguna Beach O.G. laying low in Santa Barbara away at school. You don't have to be famous, you know.

 









EXCLUSIVE  photography by GARRY

Ah, England's Glastonbury Festival...where else can pink-tressed pop dames like Lily Allen slap on their faux-vintage Max Headroom sunglasses, knock back a pint in a cheap paper cup and slither off in the mud to during the middle of the afternoon?

Well, actually, Lily probably skips off to church with that routine each Sunday morning, so it's business as usual.

At least the leggings were a classy choice. They almost distract from the fact that the rest of Lily's outfit looks like it was bought with food stamps from Woolworth's by a blind three-year-old. Cheers!

You know how the 'Naked Chef' Jamie Oliver can be really hot sometimes... and then there are days when he's, like, totally not...?

It appears as though his normally gorgeous-looking wife suffers from the same visually vexing syndrome.

We spotted the celebrity chef and his wife Jools as they arrived at their Primrose Hill home in London this week.

The two looked like they threw on some ratty old rags for a day out in the city.

Jools, next time add a little feminine flair—a shiny belt, a scarf, a raspberry barrette (and don't wear much more)—anything to keep those embers burning!

The Gossip Girl gang takes it up a few notches with boobie beach scenes they have been shooting in New York.

Things get pretty steamy between on-and-off-screen couple Penn Badgley and Blake Lively at Fort Tilden in Queens on Friday as the two cuddle and have a make-out sesh on the sand for the cameras.

Wouldn't it be nice to get paid for foreplay with your own boyfriend? And I wonder what happens in the trailer after the director yells "cut"?

We can only imagine what the GG production assistant says to the director trying to summon the actors to their next scene: "Um, sir, I can't go in there. Their mobile dressing room looks like it's being powered by hydraulics again, if you know what I mean!"

*Bow chicka bow bow*











Photography by STEVE SANDS

Looks like Emile Hirsch finally has some uplifting news after his recent star vehicle Speed Racer hydroplaned off Major Flop Cliff and got swallowed up by the Box Office Poison Ocean: the 23-year-old will be the new face of Valentino's spring 2009 ad campaign.

Black-and-white photos of Hirsch shot in Milan for the Valentino collection were revealed today in Paris.

The actor, seen here in designer duds strolling through the City Of Lights' Vendome Square with two equally-fashionable babes, has grown his hair out for his role in Gus Van Sant's upcoming Harvey Milk biopic. Well, that's the only excuse we can think of for his triflin' rat-mop!

Meanwhile, if these jeaunes filles had any sense, one would've clocked Hirsch over the head with a baguette while the other hacked off that Winehouse-worthy wig with a bayonet!












EXCLUSIVE photography by ELIOT PRESS

Beyonce's music mogul hubby Jay-Z rocked the mic at Dublin, Ireland's RDS Simmonscourt last night with Brit soul diva Estelle in tow. B had better watch it, though—one of the lyrics to Estelle's current hit, "American Boy," goes "don't like his baggy jeans, but I'm-a like what's underneath!"

Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger and British Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton take a romantic stroll through Mayfair as they make their way back to their London hotel on Thursday.

Hey, they simply needed some alone time to admire each other's identical lips. Lewis could presumably borrow more of Scherzinger's lip balm.

Nicole keeps her head down and holds on for dear life as Lewis keeps everything under control with stoic composure even though he seems to be intentionally covering up his lady's left hand.

Upon reveal there is indeed a giant rock but it is on her middle finger.

Hey, eff you for not being engaged. So, there!

This is the very visual contradiction we LOVE to dissect in Elizabeth Hurley...

All dressed up like a princess (seriously, Cinderella, couldn't do much better), yet wearing that typical Hurley scowl as she is off to the ball with her super-effing-mega-rich husband Arun Nayar.

Yes, they were literally on their way to Elton John's White Tie & Tiara Ball in London on Thursday.

Girlfriend, I'm seriously annoyed by you. You have it all: model, actress, money, kids, marriage, fame. What could you possibly have to frown about?

Hey, at least she didn't flip us off this time.

 

If you are as depleted as I am from the hectic week, then today's lineup should awaken your senses just long enough to get you to the finish line. Jam on it!...

Bauer-Griffin Online wants you to continue to analyze Dax Shepard's unhealthy relationship tendencies.

Pacific Coast News sees that Matthew McConaughey has broken up with the surfers.

INF Daily also revels in Gossip Girls' sex on the beach.

Splash News Online wonders whether Jennifer Lopez is going to spill the beans.

A Socialite's Life has Mary-Kate Olsen's Letterman appearance. She played soccer with Spencer Pratt!

Just Jared brings you Lindsay Lohan's secret sister!!!

What Would Tyler Durden Do thinks Amy Winehouse has been cured. Not.

The Gossip Girls note Paris Hilton's charitable deed.

Pop Sugar displays Kate Moss shamelessly self-promoting through her own daughter.

Pink is the new Blog gives us Prince Harry's dangerous brush with death-by-methane.

Celebrity Baby Blog reviews Gwen Stefani's pregnancy style.

Life is a beach. Life is a topless beyotch. Three topless beyotches, to be exact...

Blake Lively and Ed Westwick film scenes from Gossip Girl on Fort Tildon Beach in Rockaway Beach, Queens, on Thursday.

Between takes Blake strolls around while Ed snaps images of the paparazzi and kicks around a soccer ball although he doesn't seem to mind the work since it involves three topless ladies.

Acting has its benefits... for Ed.

Meanwhile Blake's scene seems revolve around her being suspicious and dismayed. Competing with live, partially nude girls, perhaps it's not the best day on the job for her.

You're still cute, Blake! You don't have to take your shirt off and spin it 'round like a helicopter to prove it.

 


















Photography by ANDERSON/DISCIULLO

Like a crack addict without his, um, crack, Dax Shepard appears to be experiencing physical withdrawal without his drug of choice: the desperate, clingy, co-dependent love he projects onto poor little Kristen Bell.

Just review the facts:

1. This is Dax mainlining his Kristen fix.
2. This is Dax without his honey (see above and also click here for more evidence).

Notice the pensive, angry looks Dax shoots our way as we spot him at Los Angeles International Airport on Thursday. We presume he was on his way back from Italy where he was filming a movie with his lady love.

Get it together, man! There IS life without Kristen! And in the event she dumps your needy ass, don't forget this: You are a hottie! Especially when bare chested. You can bounce back.

 









EXCLUSIVE photography by MO

Judging by the matching heart-shaped shades, toe-chewin' Kelly Osbourne and her beau Luke Worrell are deep in lurrv. So then who's this leather-clad laddie horning in on their hand-holding session?

Sporting coordinated separates in yellow and grey, topped of with a holey hat, Rhys Ifans is all smiles on Thursday in London.

He seems to be completely over his breakup with Sienna Miller as he enjoys his afternoon eating lunch with friends.

That is, unless he is doing damage control to play off his jilted-man-beer-bottle rage from just a few days ago.

Underneath that wide smile filled with stained, crooked, British teeth lies pent up anger. I just know it!

Let's wait a few days and check back with him the next time he chugs down some brewskies at the local pub. I bet he'll get kooky again.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I know that look, Cameron. You can't fool us...

It's the look that says, "Yeah, I'm gonna get me some of that tonight. Uh huh, that's right!"

BUT GET THIS...

Donning a ring on his left hand, it appears as though this mystery dude is...(drumroll)... already taken! As in—permanently. As in—MARRIED!!!

HOLD UP. THERE'S MORE...

Cameron is also displaying a mystery ring on her left hand. But it's too odd-looking to be a wedding band, right? RIGHT, CAMERON???

For the love of god, Cam, will you tell us what's up!? WE NEED TO KNOW!!!

Incidentally, the 35-year-old actress and the married dude were spotted at Nobu in Malibu on Wednesday night.











Photography by MATINGAS/CHRIS

Our favorite Wolverine dad is out with his family again. This time showcasing his X-Men-styled muscly chest. And I must say... oh my!?

Hugh Jackman spent a day in the French Rivera sun on Thursday with his wife Deborra-Lee Furness, son Oscar, and daughter Ava. And yes, once you flip through all of these photos, you may be as confused as we are.

I think Oscar must have peed in the water or something. Whatever it was, he seems to have inspired Jackman's superhero powers—his super-wrath, that is. 

Hugh, remember—you ARE NOT 'Wolverine.' You are a man, an actor, a dad. For the love of god, man—it's just a movie!

Snap out of it!!!!











Photography by ELIOT PRESS

While husband Marc Anthony is seen at his hotel, Jennifer Lopez hits the stores of Madrid, Spain, with two assistants on Wednesday.

Lopez, wearing a necklace with the initials of her two children Maximiiian and Emme, emerged from Dolce & Gabbana in a newly purchased red satin dress and shoes.

Hey, having been seen hanging out poolside this week in her bikini for the first time since dropping the twins, J.Lo is ready to show the world her body is back.

Her next dance single: Don't Need No Muffin Topz











Photography by KADENA PIX

Jennifer Garner, 36, takes her 3-year-old daughter Violet Anne Affleck shopping at the Brentwood Country Mart in Brentwood, California, AGAIN.

The only difference this time: She remembered to extract her daughter from the car before locking it.

Better Jen, much better.

Hilary Swank, 33, arrives with her dog Karoo at Los Angeles International airport on Wednesday with a new lightened and cropped hairdo.

It's safe to assume that the guys who lust over Hilary are a little rattled right now. I mean, even those self-professed male feminist types who wear Lilith Fair t-shirts and attend pro-choice rallies to trawl for dates like their ladies looking, well, womanly.

Maybe she's working on the sequel to her Oscar-winning performance in Boys Do Cry...?











EXCLUSIVE photography by ISB/MATINGAS/MO

Who knew how hauntingly prophetic this picture would become when we snapped this sex-tape trio back in 2006 at a Playboy party.

Yes, it is disturbingly true: Arguably the world's most famous little person Verne Troyer A/K/A 'Mini Me' has a sex tape.

*Stepping away to vomit*

Verne. Why'd you do it, man? Now, like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, you'll have to deal with the pervs who incessantly watch your sex tape (and your following, I assume, is extra pervy).

Don't you feel objectified? Did you have to wash off the shame afterward in your customized little man's shower? And most importantly, do you think this controversial bit of media will threaten your close ties with your sugar daddy Mike Myers!?

Verne, we thought you were better than that.

 









EXCLUSIVE file photo

Ladies, are we liking this look on Benji? I tend to be anti-skinhead, myself.

We saw a shorts 'n cleavage pinup princess look on Paris Hilton as she was flanked by her matching boyfriend Benji Madden (both wore black) as they walked outside of Crown Bar in West Hollywood on Wednesday night.

Also partying it up at the celeb hot spot was wannabe pop singer-slash-cousin-of-Britney-and-Jamie-Lynn-Spears, fame leach Alli Sims.

Alli, we commend your effort, but we just don't think it's happening, babe. Sorry to break it to you.

Benji, are you going to propose to Paris yet, or what!? Camon' already -- We've already started anticipating the messy divorce!











Photography by GARRY S

First, I must disclose, as a grunge-obsessed teen back in the early '90s, I had a HUGE crush on Chris Cornell when he was in Soundgarden. HUGE crush.

Now he's older (and sadly, so am I) and clocks in as the frontman of the super group Audioslave. He also happens to be an awesome dad (See! I know how to pick 'em!).

We spotted Chris as he spent the day in a Los Angeles park on Wednesday with his daughter Toni (born September 18, 2004) and his son Christopher Nicholas (born on December 5, 2005).

The family trio did some playground time and Daddy Chris (who, by the way, can still wail like the old days) seemed just as thrilled as his kids to be swaying on the swingset.

What we want to know, Chris, is this: When you pack their lunches, do you trim the crust off of their sandwiches or do you leave it on?

So cute!











Photography by REVOLUTIONPIX

It's official: They're yuppies, now...

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber walk through Soho with their baby son Alexander Pete -- but they call him "Sasha" -- after shopping at the J. Crew store on Prince Street in New York on Wednesday.

J. Crew? Really guys?

Naomi and Liev are not married, but she was sporting a flashy ring on her left ring finger! Is a wedding far off!!!???

It would be the young-urban-professional thing to do.











Photography by GARDINER ANDERSON

Beloved readers of Bauer, I ask you this: Who is the dude with that misaligned comb-over we spotted at the airport in Los Angeles on Wednesday? Go pass the jump to find out!

I will give you some rather unhelpful hints:

• He is NOT some random traveling computer salesman.
  
• He is NOT that dude from Office Space; you know, the four-eyed freak who was forced to work in the basement.
  
• He DID appear in 1992's frolicking family comedy Captain Ron, starring Kurt Russell.
  

EXCLUSIVE photography by MATINGAS

Celebs etc. attended "Rebel Rebel," a Milk Gallery Project presented by The Art of Elysium last night at New York's Milk Gallery.  According to the charity's website, The Art of Elysium "is dedicated to enriching the lives of artists and critically ill children."  Sounds grand to us... which brings us to:

Things we love:

- Riley Keough.

- The way Elijah Wood's tie brings out his eyes.

- The Art of Elysium


And now, things that confuse us:

- Model May Andersen (she's the one posing with the kid)... in true supermodel fashion, she was also arrested for going apesh*t on a flight attendant.

Guess how old she is?  Click any image to find out!












Photos by WORKUM

The fashions at yesterday's BET Awards were all over the map for us.

Then we saw Keyshia Cole's shoes.  And we swooned.

They're like something Jane Jetson would wear when she's doing naughty things for George's birthday.

And we want a pair.

Anyone know who makes them?

Ruh roh.  Conrad can't be happy about this.

Today, Audrina Patridge and Lauren "Lo" Bosworth were spotted shopping and lunching together at Fred Segal.

Yeah, yeah.  They were filming scenes for the upcoming season of The Hills.  But still.

How do you think this season will end?  Will all of Conrad's current friends abandon ship and she'll have to turn to Kristin Cavalleri -- or Heidi -- for an ear to whine into?

If that dress comes in more than one pattern, Audrina should defo buy it.  Talk about a flattering fit!  That said, shoe-wise, Lo wins our vote for this round.






















Photos by GABO

What up, Dunst?

We realize we've probably been less than nice to Kirsten Dunst in the past.  But now, after seeing these shots of her picking through the $5 clearance rack at H&M, we feel like kindred spirits.

Today, Kirsten and a gal pal hit up H&M and the American Apparel store in Soho to do some good old fashioned bargain hunting.  If their bags are any indication, we'd say the voyage was a success!

Kirsten, who recently sought treatment for depression, appeared calm and collected throughout the day.

Check out her green-framed Chanel sunglasses (Lily Allen has the same pair), her nifty bohemian purse, and her cool flower ring.  Her casual summer look is really working for us, so hopefully, there's more of where that came from in her shopping bags.






















EXCLUSIVE photos by KREIGER/CARLOS VILA

Hey look!  It's that girl from that thing with those guys in it!

Naturally, we're talking about Demi Lovato from Camp Rock with the Jonas Brothers.

Yesterday, upon exiting her New York hotel, Demi was greeted by a handful of excited fans.  Demi happily posed for photos with the gals.

We gotta say, she's pretty cute and spunky.  We also gotta say, she's 15-years-old and the fact that she's wearing a New Kids on the Block shirt makes us feel old.  The group achieved the bulk of its success before Demi was even born.  So hip and retro she is...

We're gonna go drink some prune juice.












EXCLUSIVE photos by DAVE KREIGER/CARLOS VILA

Now that she's back in L.A. after a trip to her home town for Brazil's fashion week, Gisele Bundchen and a girlfriend decided to kick back and enjoy an afternoon drink at BOA Steakhouse on Tuesday.

The two got take out before heading out.

The lanky model, who dates football giant Tom Brady, recently dispelled rumors she made $35 million last year alone. Hey, that awesome Audi she's driving tells me, the lady is doing just fine.

Can I have a Benjamin or two, Gisele? Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

 









EXCLUSIVE photography by ISBP/MOF

Somebody put her dress on backward today...

Steven Tyler and girlfriend Erin Brady share a smoke outside the Trump International Hotel in New York on Tuesday and then go for a walk in the upper West side.

Erin, where you see the tag on the dress, that's the side you wear facing your back, not your front.

Sheesh, Steven! And your own daughter was a pro-dresser A/K/A model.

 









Photography by  DISCIULLO

Oh cute!  Yesterday, we spotted comedian Chris Rock strolling through the streets of New York with his daughter Lola Simone and professional multi-tasker Guy Oseary.

A) Lola Simone = totally cute name   B) Lola Simone = totally cute kid

Doesn't she just look like a birthday gift with that bow on her head?  Speaking of, Lola will turn six on the 28th, so, Happy Birthday lil lady!

Their walking buddy, Guy Oseary, is the CEO of Maverick Records and manages Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, and Katharine McPhee.  He also produces films, writes books, and manages baseball player Alex Rodriguez.  *exhale*  Way to be a bad a**, Oseary.  $10 says he can also fly.












EXCLUSIVE photos by DISCIULLO

From the looks of Gwen Stefani's superpregs belly, it seems that son Kingston Rossdale might be in his final days of "only childness."

Today, Gwen, hubby Gavin Rossdale, and a nanny took 2-year-old Kingston on a shopping spree at Hamleys Toy store in London.  The family arrived in a gray cab and pushed their pacified tot around in a stroller.

It looks like Kingston made out with a couple of animal figurines.  Perhaps his interest in them was sparked by the family's recent visit to the zoo.

Now this is the type of unique maternity wear we like to see!  We can't wait to hear what they will name the newest member of the family.  We think Kingston is such a sharp name!












Photos by J ALMASI/M ROCHA

When you're sweating your ass off on stage, a man can get rather stanky.

Enter Givenchy men's fragrance.

Just what the doctor ordered! Especially if you're singer-actor-sweaty-dancer Justin Timberlake.

He arrived at the Petit Palais in Paris on Tuesday for the launch party for the new fragrance 'Play!' As the face of Givenchy's whole men's smell-like-an-awesome-rich-dude line, JT can probably afford to bathe in that sh*t daily.











Photography by ELIOT PRESS

There's a lot here today to mock and ponder, Jammers. Get to it...

Bauer-Griffin Online wants you to ponder Heidi Montag's effed up publicity strategy.

Pacific Coast News says Lindsay Lohan blesses you in the name of Christ. WTF?

INF Daily delves into the gianormous subject of Shaq's size.

Splash News Online introduce you to the phenomenon of foreign celebrity ads. Your eyes will open!

A Socialite's Life has pictures of Will Smith getting some sugar from... David Letterman!? WTF?

Just Jared has the scoop on Vanessa Hudgens' tummy lovin on BF Zac Efron.

What Would Tyler Durden Do reminisces about the Brooke-Hulk Hogan suntan oil incident. Click at your own risk!

Gossip Girls present evidence of Nicole Richie acting motherly... again. That's twice in one week!

Pop Sugar has Michelle Williams denying family feud rumors over Heath Ledger's estate.

Pink is the new Blog says Justin Timberlake smells like Givenchy.

Celebrity Baby Blog welcomes Tori Spelling's spawn to the world of celebrity baby magazine covers.

Kanye West won big at last night's BET Awards. But let's face it, everyone was probably more preoccupied with Rihanna's glow-in-the-dark ruffled gown and her interactions with BF Chris Brown (yes, that's right, Chris' mom confirmed the relationship to the press. As if we didn't already know!)

Rihanna is "the sexiest and sweetest girl Chris has ever dated," Chris' mom Joyce Hawkins said recently.

While the couple are still staying tight lipped about their luvah status, they did sit next to eachother at Tuesday night's blacktabulous event in Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium.

Here are the other BET red-carpet cuties: Keyshia Cole (in yellow with a black sash), Terrence Howard, Jermaine Dupri, Jennifer Hudson (in brown strapless), Alicia Keys, Solange Knowles, Lil Kim, Lil Mama, MC Lyte (in a multicolored gown), Mario, Nelly,  Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, Lisa Rey (in a short gold tank dress), Jordin Sparks, Trina (in a bright yellow shift dress) and Gabrielle Union (in a white Grecian gown).











Photography by AXELLE

Okay okay, this is the second time in 24 hours we have spotted Heidi Montag reveling in the photo ops that baggage claim at LAX provides.

Is she just walking from terminal to terminal? Did she actually go somewhere?

We saw Ms. Montag and her manager-slash-boyfriend Spencer Pratt after they supposedly arrived at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday.

And with a wannabe hot new single out, why on earth would she choose the airport, of all places, as the promotional venue du jour!?

Heidi, dahling, please heed our advice and fire breakup with Spencer pronto!




















Photography by GABO/MATINGAS

LOVE Naomi's sunglasses. Want. Love. Want. Love...

[Robotic voice]: *Experiencing fashion envy meltdown*

Naomi Watts and luvah-slash-actor Liev Schreiber get caught in a summer shower while stepping out for a coffee on Tuesday in New York.

We are wondering if Naomi read our recent post, because she is looking decidedly more human healthy out-and-about in her 'hood.

Liev, keep feeding her those sandwiches! BTW, what's up with the Birkenstocks? They went out with those horrid flannels of the '90s.

 









Photography by ANDERSON

Inching closer and closer to her due date, Gwen Stefani, 38, is spotted out with her hubby Gavin Rossdale, 42, and their 2-year-old son Kingston at the London Zoo on Tuesday.

Gavin looks like a straight up cholo gangster dressed in his baggy low-rise jeans, wallet chain, skater shoes, greased back hair, and shirt that, at first glance, looks like an un-tucked flannel. 

Checkin' out the animals, ese? Mocking the giraffes, ese? Hey ese, showing your bread and butter family around the zoo, ese?











Photography by M ROCHA

Nothing like a little retail therapy after a day of battling for the possession of your own children...

With a little frown on her face, Britney Spears drops into the West Hollywood Fred Segal boutique on Tuesday. She exits to find a horde of photographers and several intrigued onlookers.

For the love of god, U.S. legal system! Why must you ruin a perfectly awesome pop princesses day out shopping!?

It's just not right!

Give Britney her kids back! If at least so we can see a giant smile on her face the next time she whips out her black Amex.

 









Photography by CHRIS/SHINN

George Clooney wants anyone and everyone to come stay over at his Villa Oleandra on Lake Como in Italy-- especially if you're famous.

Tate Donovan?  Check.
Guy Richie?  Check.
Ben Weiss?  Famous enough... Check.

Today, Camp Clooney saw the likes of Robert De Niro, his wife Grace Hightower, and their son Elliot speeding around on a boat en route to the House of Handsome.

We're gonna go check our spam trap.  George's evite probably got stuck in there...












Photos by LUCA SGRO

Chris Noth is looking more and more like my dad and less and less like the hunky businessman 'Carrie' fell for in Sex and the City.

This is not a new phenomenon, I realize. It has been happening ever since the 'Aiden' era -- when we first noticed Mr. Noth bulge and balloon.

Anyway, I bring this up because Noth, a new father, seems truly un-enthused to be sandwiched in between these two hot chicks (in blue).

..Unlike his '80s predecessor, the late Robert Palmer (remember him from the Simply Irresistible video? Young chicks galore! And he was totally game!)

Maybe Noth's moment of discontent stems from the fact that he is perfectly happy going home to his baby momma, girlfriend Tara Wilson, and sees this obligatory event as a meal ticket for his family (he and ex-Miss Australia Jennifer Hawkins launched a new LG mobile phone in Sydney, Australia, on Tuesday).

Awww,  Chris. You old softy (and lumpy). Like the periwinkle suit. Brings out the silver in your hair. Hides the beer gut.

 









Photography by DAVID MORGAN

Jessica Biel landed at LAX today wearing her three favorite accessories: 1) a frown, 2) a questionable haircut, and 3) death lips.

Now that we're done being snippy because she's prettier than us and has our man:

Her sideways cross necklace is pretty cool and we wouldn't mind owning that massive black leather purse of hers.  Anyone know who makes it?

We hope she hopped in a car and wore that hat to some place more appropriate, like a speakeasy, or poolside at a 1950's Cuban resort.

Corners up, Biel!  If MK Olsen can (almost) do it, so can you!












EXCLUSIVE photos by ISBP/MO/MATINGAS/GABO

When the Arquette clan is out in full force, keep an eye on your fire-engine red lipstick, your fishnets and hairspray, cause they mean biznass. Family biznass.

A-Town was in the house (Mann's Chinese 6 theaters in Hollywood, to be exact) on Monday to support brother Richmond (sh*t, there's another mystery Arquette out there? I thought Alexis was the final, unaccounted-for A-Dawg) in his acting effort in The Butler's in Love.

Courtney Cox showed with the most famous A-Dawg: David Arquette.

As for A-B*tches Patricia and Rosanna, they were on like Donkey Kong for the premiere.

And then there is the Arquette who trancends any stereotypical category we have crassly assigned: Alexis Arquette.

We love you Alexis! Mysterious lip boil 'n all (yeah, what's that about? Ew!).

Others at the show: Thomas Jane, Jennifer Siebel (in blue), Laura Dern, and Elizabeth Berkley and her man Greg Lauren.





























Photography by AXELLE

Okay, okay.  True.  They're not exactly assaulting our vision this time, but:

Kate Moss's Nipples, we know you're there... lurking under that blazer... just ready to leap out and cut diamonds or take out an eye like a Red Ryder Rifle.

Last night, the supermodel mom showed Christina Aguilera how it's done (read: partying it up until 3 a.m. and still looking coherent on the way out) with boyfriend Jamie Hince of The Kills.

Ahhh.  This is just like old times.  Last summer, she was constantly doing this sort of thing (but decidedly less coherent-looking) with this little gem of a man.  Had he not been our basis for comparison, we'd be hard pressed to say this about Hince, but:  major Upgrade (apologies for quoting a tampon commercial).












Photos by BIG PICTURES

Adrien Brody and his girlfriend, model Elsa Pataky, take a walk hand-in-hand in Milan, Italy, on Monday.

Hey, if she's good enough for former Oscar nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Elsa made her U.S. film debut in Snakes on a Plane in 2006), she's good enough for her Oscar winner boyfriend.

We suspect Adrien is mainly enchanted by her ample... intelligence. Yes, that's right, intelligence.











Photography by OLYCOM

Just as she has unleashed her vocal "stylings" for the world hear (an auditory experience we liken to medieval torture), we spotted Hills star Heidi Montag, in full makeup, of course, during a photo op at the...(drumroll)... airport!?

Her ever present BF-slash-manager Spencer Pratt -- who obviously devised the brilliant PR stunt to peddle her latest single Fashion -- was by her side at Los Angeles International Airport on Monday as the reality TV couple were preparing to depart. Spence, what's so fashionable about LAX and security check-ins?

Heidi, please take our advice: Get new representation AND a new boyfriend. You needed to drop that loser way back in season 2!

If you don't believe us about what's left of Heidi's horrid, remixed, over-produced voice, listen for yourself:

 

Would you shake your junk to this at the club? Let us know in the comments area!











Photography by MATINGAS/MO

Kerr-Bloom! exploded hotness all over Gran Canaria, Spain this past weekend.

The near-physically flawless duo (consisting of Brit actor Orlando Bloom and Aussie Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr) took their hot bods and lust-inducing accents to the Gran Hotel Residencia where they spent their time reading, avoiding tanlines (woo!), and making us regret eating breakfast.

A famous model that eats and reads?  Talk about breaking down stereotypes.  Don't f*** this up, Bloom.

Forget Oprah and Mel Gibson.  If you really want to encourage school kids to read, just slap one of these photos of Miranda Kerr on a poster and *BAM!* literacy should skyrocket.

If you need us we'll be right over here, clicking through these photos for HOURS.






















Photos by RADIAL PRESS

Mystery solved, now we know what what Kelly Osbourne has been doing to control her weight at a happy medium plump.

I can just imagine what she says at home when it's dinnertime: "No fattening bats for me tonight, Daddy, I'm going to boil my toes. And get this, no seasoning required, they're already salted!"

Oookay, I just grossed myself out.

We spotted Kelly as she was leaving Radio One Studios in London on Sunday, dressed in hot pink from her head (note odd hair band) to her exposed knees. You thought I was going to say her scrumptious toes, didn't you!?

 

Would you throw a chair at this innocent-looking face? I think not!

Multitasking television host extraordinaire Jerry Springer is spotted leaving the Dorchester Hotel in London on Monday.

Jerry, while you have professed you have "absolutely no talent," we know you have a knack for exploiting all that is clueless, extroverted, illiterate and dorky.

No one said shameless pandering lacks talent. I bet there are some people out there who are really bad at it.

George Clooney.
Handsome.
Lake Como.
Boat.
Guests.
Ben Weiss.
Italy.

...No, not like Corey Feldman and Corey Haim (BTW, did any of you see last night's episode of The Two Coreys? OMG! 'Nuff said.)

Keith Richards is spotted leaving the Dorchester in London. He is greeted by a fan who gives him a big wet kiss.

Somebody loves ya, Keith!











Photography by JACK L

*Cue the sound of a cuckoo clock*

Yes, it has happened. And much earlier than we predicted, frankly. Liv Tyler's perfect veneer has cracked as she has made her foray, a mere baby step, really, into the waters of single motherhood following her split from pathetic loser former Spacehog frontman Royston Langdon. Rumors have the celeb couple getting back together; but I'm dubious as to whether a reunion will actually take.

Just look at how harried Liv looks, seemingly trying her best to hold it together in the airport with her son, little Milo Langdon. Those moments of desperation -- talking to whomever will listen, engaging security guards in conversation, asking uninterested strangers to help entertain your spawn -- happen to celebrities too. Just look at Sharon Stone!

But we were expecting more from the awesome rock 'n roll forces that have always guided Liv! Next thing you know, she'll be reprising the role Debra Winger made famous in Terms of Endearment on a made for TV miniseries! Remember the grocery scene when her card got declined? Sad. Just sad.

After a lot of prepping and fussing, Ms. Tyler and her son Milo depart from Los Angeles International Airport on Monday.

Liv, say it ain't so!











Photography by Gabo/Matingas/Mo

No, this isn't a case of supermodel on the lam (although, that might be amusing).

This is a case of us reading Naomi Campbell's t-shirt.

Days after Naomi was sentenced to 200 hours of community service and laughable fine, she was spotted in Milan recovering in precisely the way we would expect Naomi Campbell to recover: by shopping.

The model, who pleaded guilty to assaulting a police officer, disorderly conduct, and using threatening or abusive words or behavior to cabin crew, sported a t-shirt on which was printed the following:

Wanted
For stealing kisses
Outrageously beautiful female
heavily armed with SLICKERS


Talk amongst yourselves.












EXCLUSIVE photos by OLYCOM

Kate Moss decided to cover up a little more than usual during a typical day out in headlights city London.

But being the devious detectives that we are, we were still able to spot a new brand of Moss boobies: Barely-visible, black 'n ruffly nips!

The ever bra-less Moss and her bodyguard were spotted running errands in North London and returning to a hotel in Central London on Monday.

Kate, you would not be you if you bundled it all up in a brassiere.

To visit a recent retrospective of Kate Moss nips go here. Camon, you know you want to!

Not that there's anything wrong with it.  We've been known to climb over screaming toddlers to find the best trampled-on bargains at the likes of Ross, Marshalls, and TJ Maxx. 

But, we just didn't see Jennifer Aniston as the type to wear duds off the clearance rack.  At least, that's what her dress looks like.

(Cue somebody telling us her dress costs a fortune.)

Last night, the boobier half of Mayerston grabbed an Italian meal at La Famiglia restaurant in London, England.

Aside from her ho hum frock, we must say that Jen's skin looked radiant^2 and we are digging her gold watch (but not with this outfit).  It's fancy smancy.












Photos by BIG PICTURES

SPOILER ALERT

Unless this is a dream sequence, it's probably safe to say:

Ah, so that's how it ends.

Kristen Bell and When in Rome co-star Josh Duhamel were spotted lovingly exchanging mouth fluids (read: kissing) in a fountain during filming of their flick.  Strangely, this is less scandalous than our last encounter with a gown-clad Kristen in a fountain.

When she wasn't smooching her lust-worthy leading man, Kristen was chillaxing in the park with her real life, hilariously-tattooed leading man:   The 21st Century's Charleton Heston  Dax Shepard.  Now, we could sit here and dwell on how adorable Kristen is.  Or how worried we are about that bandage on her leg.  Or how drunk Dax must have been when he had those racing flags tattooed on his neck (might as well have gotten a lower back butterfly tat).  Instead, we'll just vomit over cherish how totally in lurve these two are. 

Glad to see some of Hollywoodland's couple are still ringing each others' bells.  Keep making us jealous, you two.






















Photos by VENTURINI/ELIOT

Comedian and actor George Carlin passed away yesterday at age 71.  Carlin arrived at a Santa Monica, CA hospital complaining of chest pain and died at 5:55 of heart failure.

We will always cherish his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" monologue and his performance as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Carlin was to receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center in November.

We spied Reese Witherspoon departing from LAX yesterday.

Dressed like that, we half expected her to take off a shoe and use it as a telephone (although with heels, she would be prone to inner ear injuries).

What do you think of Reese's quasi-incognito flying apparel?  To us, she looks like the Inch High Private Eye got made over by the Queer Eye Quintet.  And we like it.












Photos by ISBP/MO/MATINGAS

I know, I know: The heat is oppressive, we are all moving a little slower than usual and people still don't know how to drive. Yes it is Monday, and yes, we will try our best to distract you from the current state of affairs...

Bauer-Griffin Online wants you to ponder why Eric Dane lives up to his name.

Pacific Coast News brings you a real-life brawl! Fight, fight, fight!

INF Daily piggy backs on PCN's brawl footage with their own showdown on the sand.

Splash News Online says Rob Lowe has officially escaped from reality.

A Socialite's Life brings you Lance and Kate's tennis court smooch!

Just Jared introduces us  to a new Gossip Girl cast member!

What Would Tyler Durden Do calls Amy Winehouse's dad an idiot.

Gossip Girls bear the bad news of comedian George Carlin's death.

Pop Sugar has Jennifer Lopez with her babies in Spain.

Pink is the new Blog gives us rare sighting of Nicole Richie acting like a mom.

Celebrity Baby Blog offers Charlize Theron's motherhood aspirations.

First, there was Downy Wrinkle Release (holla!).

Now, there's this.

In-f***ing-credible.

We'll give it a week before our car can fly.



Welcome to the future.

Rio Ferdinand.  Defender for Manchester United.  Just hanging out with his bro and some pals.  In Tel Aviv.  In the surf (which is, apparently, as good a place as any to have oneself a drank).

Once you've recovered from the above's complete lack of proper punctuation:

We enjoy Rio.  Why?  Perhaps because something about him is slightly off-looking.  And yet, so much about him is definitely on-looking.  Does that make any sense?

Opinions?












EXCLUSIVE photos by ELIOT

Yesterday, Mary Kate Olsen returned to Los Angeles by way of LAX.  Oh... and she smiled-- in the presence of the paparazzi.


Commence Armageddon in 3, 2...

Well, maybe it wasn't a full on smile.  But, it also wasn't a full on frown.  So there's that.

MK kept our eyes busy with her always-interesting fashions.  Our favorite pieces from yesterday include those giant rings (which, we've decided, might actually be of average size but only appear ginormo when worn on her ti-ziny hands) and that cool old purse that looks like it could have been purchased at a garage sale, but is probably worth more than our AGI.  It kinda makes us think of Shia's bizarre-o bag. 

Speaking of, do you think MK Olsen and Shia LaBeouf would make a darling couple?

Lookin' good, lil MK.












Photos by ISBP/MO/MATINGAS

On Saturday, we spotted Eric Dane doing a spot of shopping with gorgeous wife Rebecca Gayheart.  At some point, he left the black Prius with the wifey and headed for the Easton Gym in his silver Porsche.

Question.

When you're working out at, say, 24 Hour Fitness, the people wearing the "24 Hour Fitness" shirts generally are employees of the gym, no?  Thought so.

Perhaps Eric just really really likes Easton Gym.  Apparently, it's where hot fictional doctors go to work out.

Meow.












EXCLUSIVE photos by ZFI/CHRIS/DAVE

So, it's official (and simply because I say so): Kate Moss is...(drumroll)... the undisputed Nipple Queen.

We saw her on Friday -- flashing some nip, of course -- as she returned to her London home with boyfriend Jamie Hince (not pictured) and best friend Davina Taylor.

Here is a Moss nipple retrospective, if you will:

• Kid-flashing nips
• Airport nipples
• Babysitter nips
• Old school Johnny Depp nips (we know they're hiding under that leather jacket!)
• Barely there nips