What was at first assumed to be a 5.1 earthquake this afternoon was later revealed to be the result of Star Wars fanboys scurrying up from their parents' basements en masse to check the couch cushions for spare change.
The source of this nationwide stampede? The RealDoll Corporation's announcement that they are releasing a Natalie Portman model. In addition to the standard lifelike orifices, the Portman edition will come equipped with Princess Padmé vibrating jelly rings. When activated, the rings provide...
Wait, what? That actually is Natalie Portman? At the after-party for the London premiere of The Other Boleyn Girl?
Did someone shoot her up with a ketamine-and-embalming fluid cocktail?
No worries, Nat; the expressionless face and vaguely waxen appearance may not be ushering in an exciting new development in sex-toy technology, but you'll always be a doll to us.
The source of this nationwide stampede? The RealDoll Corporation's announcement that they are releasing a Natalie Portman model. In addition to the standard lifelike orifices, the Portman edition will come equipped with Princess Padmé vibrating jelly rings. When activated, the rings provide...
Wait, what? That actually is Natalie Portman? At the after-party for the London premiere of The Other Boleyn Girl?
Did someone shoot her up with a ketamine-and-embalming fluid cocktail?
No worries, Nat; the expressionless face and vaguely waxen appearance may not be ushering in an exciting new development in sex-toy technology, but you'll always be a doll to us.








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Now Tom Cruise can upgrade from the Katie-Bot. This one won't give him any backtalk!