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OMG, Mischa! DUI? And P-O-T? WTF?

Yesterday, the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office charged Barton with misdemeanor charges of driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher, driving without a valid license and possession of 28.5 grams or less of marijuana.

The charges stem from Barton's early-morning arrest in West Hollywood on December 27, after officers observed her Range Rover straddling two lanes and pulled her over.

The former O.C. star appears to be contrite. "Obviously, I'm 100 percent responsible for my actions in this case, and I'm really disappointed in myself," Barton noted on Ryan Seacrest's morning radio show.

Don't worry, Mischa; even if you are found guilty of all charges, you'll probably spend about 23 minutes in jail. Then you'll BRB on the S-T-R-E-E-T.

Hey, look! It's Rick Salomon, a man who's apparently so unsavory that even Pam Anderson is trying to disavow any romantic relationship with him.

Anderson recently filed papers with Los Angeles Superior Court, asking that her quickie Vegas marriage to Paris Hilton's sex-tape co-star be annulled.

The pair have been married for only two months. Anderson cites "fraud" as the reason for the split.
 
How's that?

Perhaps a statement made by Pammy on The Ellen Degeneres Show will shed some light on the matter.

Claiming that their relationship began after they reached an agreement over a $250,000 debt the actress had accrued, Anderson noted, "I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love. It's so romantic."

Yeesh. Anyway, we caught Rick exiting Villa Lounge in Los Angeles last night, presumably looking for the next lucky lady to take his hand in marriage.

Personally, we don't think there's enough Purell in the world to make that happen. 

Those dark glasses and hat don't fool us, Winona Ryder. We've had your face permanently etched into our memories ever since we sculpted that Ramen-noodle bust of you back in college.

The Reality Bites babe seemed to be camera-shy as she arrived in Paris to attend the ready-to-wear fashion shows taking place there this week. We just don't get it; if we were blessed with her looks, we'd walk down the street demanding that strangers take our picture.

Anyway, we hope she enjoys her Parisian sojourn. And a word to the shows' security guards: you might want to check her bags on the way out. Just sayin'.

Could it finally be happening? Are The Hills' Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt finally getting ready to walk down the aisle?

The all-American couple went on a photo op shopping trip along Los Angeles' Robertson Boulevard yesterday, dropping into  trendy boutique Kitson.

Among their purchases? A wedding day survival kit.

We're not certain about the exact contents of the kit--though we're assuming it includes duct tape, needle-nose pliers and a blowtorch--but we do know that a couple doesn't just go out and buy a wedding day survival kit if there wasn't, in fact, a wedding day being planned.

And of course, we would never accuse Speidi of leading us all on for the sake of heightened publicity.

Good God, we hope this isn't a put-on. If anyone deserves marriage, it's those two.

Receiving the kind of attention normally reserved for visiting foreign dignitaries or flaming, five-car pile-ups, Britney Spears  dropped by the Levi's store in Beverly Hills yesterday.

While Brit-Brit stocked up on jeans, the traditional throng of paps stocked up on pics, snapping away furiously and creating a commotion in and of themselves.

Egads, it's gotten so that a gal can't even pick up a little denim without landing in the news. It's probably enough to make her want to shave her head and attack a car with an umbrella.

Stay strong, Brit! And we hope you bought maternity jeans, if Star magazine's story about you carrying Adnan's bun in your oven is true.